Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
