Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
