So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
