No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
