Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
