My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
