thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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