I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
