Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
