I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
