Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
