But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
