Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
