fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
sex in a hospital.. check
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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