I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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