I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
