Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
