i may or may not be watching the land before time
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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