help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
