im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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