I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
