we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
