Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
