i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
