If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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