Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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