He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
