Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
