I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
