I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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