He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
