she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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