I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
