it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
