He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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