i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
