WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
