then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
