I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
