Don't you send me to vm
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
