A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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