took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
