He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
