youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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