an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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