we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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