garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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