Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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