my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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