quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
