didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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