went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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