Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
