garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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