i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do vagina's smell?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
