turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
