no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
