My room smells like vodka and shame
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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