Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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