I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
