This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
